| 03 February 2010

Little-known fact: David Backes is not just an up-and-coming NHL forward. He's also the potential heir to a billion-dollar fortune.
His billionaire parents were lost in a tragic sea accident in the 1970s, after a three-hour pleasure cruise in the South Pacific went horribly awry. His parents were foresighted as well as rich, and had some eggs and sperm frozen prior to their demise. The process to declare them legally dead dragged on for some time, due to several unsubstantiated reports of coconut-radio signals from the general vicinity of their last known position, but eventually it happened.
By the terms of their will, their frozen gametes were thawed and combined in 1983 in a fertility clinic in Minnesota. On May 1, 1984, David was born. Needless to say, legal wrangling over the fortune continues to this day--can a person born years after his parents' death, from their frozen cells, legally inherit? Legal experts disagree, as does Nancy Grace, just to be contrary.
Traumatized by the circumstances of his parents' death, young David vowed to never set foot in sunny Hawaii, and dedicated his life to becoming a winter sports star--"to experience the frigid wind on my face, and the potential of frostbite, as my parents never could." Eventually, he became a hockey star, first at Minnesota State and now with the St. Louis Blues.
At 6'3" and 225lbs, his size and strength (and ability to play center or wing) will be invaluable if Team USA hopes to corral the likes of Joe Thornton and Jarome Iginla. Backes has said he hopes to dedicate his Olympic performance to the memory of his father.

LeNoceur makes hockey jokes at Melt Your Face Off in addition to making Olympic hockey jokes for the Bloguin's Olympic Hockey Blog.
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